How do you reward your parents for raising you to adulthood? You steal from them! Unfortunately, in some people’s eyes, this is an acceptable behaviour. And it horrifies me. In my opinion, I think it is the most shocking and distasteful thing anyone could do to a parent. More so if the parent is elderly and has entrusted you with their life savings to take care of them in their twilight years.
Our elderly are now living to an older age post millennium and it’s not unusual to see our old folks living well into their nineties and beyond. But that doesn’t mean to say that their health is in tip-top condition or that they are in charge of all their faculties. For that reason the baby boomer generation must continue to monitor their parent’s welfare. Whether the parent is living at home with help from a care-giver or resident in an aged-care home, family members must continue to oversee their parent’s financial interests as well as their health matters.
There are so many unscrupulous family members whose only interest is whether or not they can get to poke endless dollars down the throat of a pokie machine or to try to pad out a lifestyle that they could never afford off their own bat. The newspapers seem to be filled with sickening court cases where siblings have been deprived of an inheritance or the parent dies penniless. And all because a greedy or addicted son or daughter (and sometimes a grandchild) has spent up large at the expense of a mum or dad, or a grandparent. The sad thing is, it is more common than we would ever like to imagine.
I’ve seen so many cases over the years where oldies have been ripped off by their kids due to greed and/or addictions. And often it’s the child that has been entrusted to oversee the parent’s wellbeing through an Enduring Power of Attorney. The question often arises as to why that child was entrusted with such a responsibility. Sometimes it will be the spoilt thankless child that manipulates their parent into signing their financial care over to them. Sometimes the child just appears to go rogue and help themselves to mum or dad’s money due to a sense of entitlement.
There’s a number of actions an aging person should take while they are healthy and mentally aware of their own situation.
- Talk to their lawyer. If they don’t have their own lawyer, they should seek a referral from an organization like the Citizens Advice Bureau. It’s not necessarily a good idea to work with their kid’s lawyer. A conflict of interest may occur.
- Through their lawyer, arrange to appoint an Enduring Power of Attorney for either their personal health and welfare, their property, or both. Finding the right person can be a difficult decision to make, especially when they are devoted to their kids but don’t altogether trust that they will do the right thing. In such cases, they should always make the lawyer aware of any doubts and make sure that they record it somewhere in their file notes. In such a case, the lawyer would likely recommend that they appoint someone else if there is anything less than a one hundred percent trust in that person.
Then the issue comes up where the child starts to question Mum or Dad’s level of love and trust. Words of reinforcement of love and devotion by the child can be extremely hollow especially when their eyes are glazed by deceit. I’m sure in the majority of cases, the parent would have no concerns at all with the person they entrusted with their affairs in their later years. The reality though is how easily a person’s trust can erode when faced with a bank account full of money when you have your own demons to deal with. For this reason I stress the importance of all family members having an interest in their parent’s welfare. Don’t for a moment think that the responsibility can just be left to a “devoted” sibling. Through a lack of interest and choice to take a hands off approach, life in the not too distant future could be turned upside down because a sibling has been enjoying the fruits of the Bank of Mum and Dad.
No funds are left for a funeral, or to pay off any debts that have been incurred in your parent’s name by the sibling. The evidence of cases like this are not as rare as we would like to think. In a New Zealand study by Davey & McKendry in 2011 , they stated that “Age Concern data reveals that family members, primarily adult sons and daughters, are the most frequent perpetrators of FEA (Financial Elder Abuse)”. It’s not specific to race, financial and social standing or location. It’s a global problem and any Google search on any day will uncover real life situations across countries and continents.
Maybe the myth of the greedy baby boomer, isn’t such a myth after all. There certainly appears to be a good chunk of the population still feel the need to be living off mum and dad, even when they are in their 60’s.
End.
Thanks for reading.
If you enjoyed reading this post, please Share with your friends and family on your favourite Social Media site on the links below.
I look forward to reading and responding to your Comments. So, if you have anything to say about my views and opinions on this post or other posts on my website, please enter your Comments below.
Also, if you would like to keep updated on my new posts, you are most welcome to Subscribe to my mailing list.
I’d be honoured to hear from you.
Cheers,
June.
